Hilarious but so true...!!! Me and My Boss

When I take long time to finish, I am slow,
When my boss takes a long time, he is thorough.


When I don’t do it, I am lazy,
When my boss does not do it, he is busy.


When I do something without being told, I am trying to be smart,
When my boss does the same, he takes the initiative.


When I please my boss, I am apple polishing,
When my boss pleases his boss, he is cooperating.


When I make a mistake, I am an idiot,
When my boss makes a mistake, he’s only human.


When I am out of the office, I am wondering around,
When my boss is out of the office, he’s on business.


When I am on a day off sick, I am always sick.
When my boss is a day off sick, he must be very ill.


When I apply for leave, I must be going for an interview.
When my boss applies for leave, it’s because he’s overworked.


When I do good, my boss never remembers.
When I do wrong, he never forgets.

Questions You Would Never Guess the Answers!!!

Q: What is the closest thing similar to a woman's period?
A: Your salary, it comes once a month lasts about 5- days and if it doesn't come, it means you are in big trouble._______________________________
_Q: What's the difference between biology and sociology?
A: When the baby looks like his dad or mom, then it is biology. When thebaby looks like the neighbor, then it is sociology._______________________________
_Q: Doctor: You look so weak & exhausted. Are you having 3 meals a dayasI have advised?
A: Lady: Doctor, I thought you said 3 males a day.________________________________
Q: Girl friend & boy friend go for a movie. In the dark, a mosquitoenters the girl's skirt. Guess where it would have bitten?
A: The boy friend's hand. ________________________________
Q: Tarzan and the animals went to the river to take a bath. Tarzanremoved his clothes.All the animals laughed. Tarzan asked "Why"?
A: The animals told him. Your tail is in front".